Noah Baird, Author of Donations to Clarity

How long had the idea of your book been developing before you began to write the story?

I worked on the idea for Donations to Clarity for about two or three years. My original intention was to write a very different book which included more mythical creatures, such as the Loch Ness Monster, but when I sat down to write the book, the Bigfoot story took over. Instead of resisting the idea, I just went with where the characters took me

What inspired you to write this particular story?

This is an interesting question because I’m really not sure. I was fascinated with Bigfoot when I was younger. The town I grew up in had several Bigfoot sightings, so I think those stories fueled my curiosity at a young age. Part of the Bigfoot legend has always been the idea it was a hoax. Some of the evidence is obviously hoaxed. I’m not sure about all of it, but there are certainly Bigfoot hoaxers out there. It was the hoaxing which really drew my attention – who would do something like that and why? Then I wondered: if Bigfoot exists, what does it think of these people hoaxing Bigfoot? The novel grew from that question.

How much of yourself is hidden in the characters in the book?

I’m not really sure. I suppose there are bits and pieces of me in all of the characters.

Who was your favorite character?

Bigfoot was really fun to write. It took a long time for me to decide on what type of character he should be. I wanted to stay away from the typical scary-creature-in-the-woods Bigfoot. I also thought Bigfoot would be a great vehicle for looking at our world through different eyes. The interesting thing that happened when I started writing him was this misogynist pig came out. I went back through what I wrote, and I thought it was really funny. It was great to be able to shut off the filters and write from the reptile side of the brain.

How much of a story do you have in mind before you start writing it?

Very little – I start with an idea and go. I read somewhere Tom Robbins purposely writes himself into a plot corner just to see if he can get himself out of it. I found the idea – that writing didn’t have to have a regimented approach, but could be a game for the writer – really attractive. So, I sat down with the idea ‘What would Bigfoot think if he saw a Bigfoot hoaxer?’, and I went from there.

What challenges did you face as you wrote this book?

I didn’t have people around who supported my writing. They weren’t taking it as seriously as I was. As a unpublished writer, it was difficult to convince them this was something I needed to do. It was also hard to know if the writing or the story was good. It takes a great deal of faith in yourself and the story to see it all of the way through.

What was the first story you remember writing?

I didn’t start off writing stories, but jokes. I really wanted to be a stand-up comedian. I studied comedy extensively, and trained myself to see the joke in everyday things. I was a horrible stand-up comedian. I didn’t like speaking in front of a crowd, but my joke writing wasn’t bad. It occurred to me I could write some very funny jokes – I just couldn’t tell them. In some ways, jokes are micro-novels; they follow similar trajectories, timing, etc. Some of the chapters in the book follow the framework of joke writing.

What writer influenced you the most?

I picked up Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins when I was about 21. It was the book which really spoke to me. I’d always enjoyed reading, but it was the first book I felt like it was written to me. I loved Steinbeck, Twain, etc, but they were from another generation. Woodpecker was the literary equivalent of hearing Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit or Don McLean’s American Pie for the first time. I felt like someone else out there saw the world like I did. Christopher Moore, Tim Dorsey, and Carl Hiaasen are larger influences on me now, but Tom Robbins was the first to knock me down the rabbit hole.

Did you do any research for the book? If so, how did you do it?

I read probably a dozen books on Bigfoot and hoaxing Bigfoot. I don’t think I ended up using anything from the research. I tend to b.s. my way through with just enough facts to make it seem plausible.

Is there a message in your writing you want readers to grasp?

Absolutely not. I write sitcom literature. It’s mental fast food. I just wanted to write an enjoyable story.

Do you think writing this book changed your life? How so?

I think people thought I was pretty weird before the book. They still think I’m weird, but I think I get a pass now because I’m a writer.

What one book, written by someone else, do you wish you’d written yourself?

Mark Twain’s The Diaries of Adam and Eve. It is the funniest, most honest analysis of the complicated relationships between men and women I’ve ever read.

Where can we go to learn more about Donations to Clarity?

You can find Donations to Clarity at my publisher’s website: Second Wind Publishing, LLC

Click here to read the first chapter of: Donations to Clarity

Jack, the Torment Demon, from Shadows by Joan De La Haye

Bertram: Who are you?

Jack: I’m a Torment demon who will drive you to suicide. I’ll even help you pull the trigger. It’s all in a day’s work and I love my job.

Bertram: Where do you live?

Jack: I live in the Shadow World when I’m not tormenting some idiot human.

Bertram: Are you the hero of your own story?

Jack: Of course. Why wouldn’t I be the hero? Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I can’t be the hero.

Bertram: What is your problem in the story?

Jack: My latest victim doesn’t want to believe I’m real. It really irritates me when people do that. I’m not simply a figment of the imagination.

Bertram: Do you embrace conflict?

Jack: Oh, I’m the very heart and soul of conflict. I get bored very easily and causing conflict is the best way to liven things up. Wouldn’t you agree? 

Bertram: How do your friends see you?

Jack: My friends have long since withered to dust. All I have now are the people who I torment and others of my kind. They aren’t exactly the friendly type. I don’t care how others perceive me. I’m not who I am by choice, so you and everybody else can think what you like.

Bertram: Do you have a hero?

Jack: What part of ‘I’m the hero’ didn’t you understand?

Bertram: Do you have a goal?

Jack: My goal is to make you kill yourself and if I get to make you scream along the way – well, that’s just gravy.

Bertram: What makes you happy?

Jack: The sound of someone’s agonised screams has always put a smile on my face. I also love popping open a bottle of Champagne when yet another soul becomes mine to torment for all eternity. Of course I never tell them that will happen before they blow their brains out. The look of shock on their faces when they realise their fate makes it all worth while.

Bertram: What are you afraid of?

Jack: Well, considering I can’t die, there isn’t all that much that scares me, but the council members, who run the Shadow World, always manage to scare what’s left of my humanity right out of me.

Bertram: What makes you angry?

Jack: I get very angry when my victims ignore me or try to pretend that there’s nothing wrong.

Bertram: What makes you sad?

Jack: It upsets me when my victims give in, when they stop fighting. Why do people give up so easily?

Bertram: What do you regret?

Jack: What kind of a question is that? Don’t you have anything better to do than ask ridiculous questions? Why would I have regrets? I’m a demon. Demons don’t have regrets, do we?

Bertram: Has anyone ever betrayed you?

Jack: One of my slaves betrayed me, murdered my family and turned me into this fearsome, horrible creature.

Bertram: Have you ever failed anyone?

Jack: Yes, I failed to protect my wife when I was mortal. As a result both she and our unborn child were murdered in a foul and unspeakable manner.

Bertram: Do you keep your promises?

Jack: If I promise that you’re going to die screaming – you will die screaming.

Bertram: Are you honorable?

Jack: I have my own code of honour, so in that way I would say – yes. I am honorable.

Bertram: What is your favorite music?

Jack: I quite enjoy listening to Queen. Their ‘I’m Going Slightly Mad’ is now one of my favourite songs. I’m thinking of making it my anthem.

Bertram: What is your favorite item of clothing?

Jack: My leather biker jacket is my favourite item of clothing. It makes me look really mean.

Bertram: If you were stranded on a desert island, would you rather be stranded with a man or a woman?

Jack: I would definitely prefer being stranded with a woman. Their screams are just so much more interesting. There’s something about the pitch when a woman screams. It sends shivers up my spine.

Bertram: How do you envision your future?

Jack: Well, my future is looking pretty interesting at this stage. I’m going to have a lot of fun with a girl called Carol. You’ll read about her in Shadows and I think you’ll agree that she deserves me. Then I’m going to pay Sarah another visit. I’ve missed her.

See also: On Writing Shadows by Joan De La Haye
               
Starting an E-Publishing Company by Joan De La Haye

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,404 other followers