Una Tiers Interviews Madame ZeeZee

Interview by Una Tiers, author of LETTUCE READ WILLS, DOROTHY DAISY, NOT SAFE FOR THE BANK(ER), JUDGE vs NUTS, and DIE JUDGE DIE, available at  http://amzn.to/1cOxMz6 

I want to introduce you to my fellow writer, Pat Bertram. She has authored several books and is a particularly generous person when it comes to helping authors. Today I’m interviewing one of her most recent characters, from her book, Madame ZeeZee’s Nightmare.

Welcome, Madame ZeeZee, and thank you for taking time to sit down with us. For those who aren’t familiar with you, you run a successful dance studio where there was a recent murder of one of your students. Since that time, inconsistent stories about you have surfaced. I’m certain you would like to set the record straight.

Inconsistent stories about me? I never heard any. Too busy with my studio, I guess.

We notice that you don’t advertise for new students. How do people find you?

At the beginning, it was word of mouth, but after the murder and all talk on Facebook and Twitter and the local newspaper, I got a lot of new people. Most left after a few classes. People today have no discipline. They think they can come to class and start dancing with the group without even learning the steps.

Madame, rumors are that the dance studio is owned by a reclusive retired movie star who values her privacy. Please give us a hint of who it is.

Retired movie star? No. Retired professional dancer? Yes. You want a hint of who owns the studio? It’s me. And I’m not reclusive. I just like being quiet when I go home after work.

While you’ve always denied being related to Shirley Maclaine, are you sticking to that story?

Of course I’m sticking to that story. It’s the truth. I’ve danced with Shirley, but I’ve danced with a lot of other people, too, like June Allyson and Dick Van Dyke.

You rarely dance with your classes. Do you practice alone or take classes elsewhere?

My dream is to go back to Hollywood and take classes when I retire from my studio, but it’s too long a commute from Peach Valley. I do dance with my classes, especially the more advanced ones. We perform at luaus in the summer and on various other occasions, so if you know anyone who’d like to hire us, let me know.

We understand you’ve been married several times, would you tell us the number or if it is indeed over twelve?

What? You must have me mixed up with another Madame ZeeZee. I’ve only been married twice.

Would you ever relocate for love?

No. I’m happily married. And even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t relocate for love. I’m too independent, I guess. Besides, my house is exactly the way I like it, and I intend to stay there until the end.

How many countries have you lived in as an adult?

As an adult? One. Maybe two depending on how you define “lived in.”

In the book, Pat seemed to blame herself for the deaths of your dancers. Do you blame her, too?

Pat thinks too much. She needs to learn to just let things go. If I blamed her, I’d have to blame myself and all the rest of us who talked about killing Grace, but it wasn’t any of our fault. Well, except for the murderer. She was totally at fault.

If you could choose one author, living or dead, to read about your story, who would it be?

Pat Bertram, of course, but she wouldn’t need to read about my story because she wrote it.

Is there anything you’d like to add?

Yes. Never stop dancing.

Thank you, Madame Zee Zee.

And thank you all for visiting with Madame ZeeZee and Una Tiers. Be sure to check out Interview with Fiona Gavelle, a Character in “Judge vs Nuts” by Una Tiers.

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Interview with Fiona Gavelle, a Character in “Judge vs Nuts” by Una Tiers

Who are you?

Hello I’m Fiona Gavelle, I’m the protagonist in Judge vs. Nuts.

Where do you live?

I live in one of the most beautiful cities, Chicago, Illinois. We have a stunning lakefront to Lake Michigan, magnificent architecture, a wide range of cultural venues, and unfortunately politics and corruption. If you read the book, you will get a guided part of my favorite parts of the city.

Aren’t there a lot of books about corruption in Chicago?

There are plenty of non-fiction books about corruption in Chicago, but Judge vs. Nuts is a humorcide, that looks at another form of corruption. The non-fiction books will give you a headache; our book will make you laugh.

What is your problem in the story?

The police think that my dead client, Judge Laslo King was murdered. Really, there are a lot of ways it could have been a terrible accident.

Dead client?

Technically, I represent the executor of his estate, so not the dead person. That isn’t allowed even in Cook County.

Do you run from conflict?

Early and often, I must have watched too much television as a child and thought life could be relatively simple. That way of thinking leaves my head in the clouds much of the time. When I left my first job, I did it in the middle of the night. When I moved out of the apartment I shared with my husband, it was while he was at work. Now when it comes to clients, I want to believe I relentlessly protect their rights.

Do you think the author portrayed you accurately?

Una made me vulnerable and naive, but she also put Aunt Tess and Judge Adam Curie in to protect me when I’m not looking. Their advice is so subtle; they think I’m not listening.

Do you have any special strengths?

I can write loopholes and spot them immediately. Then I redraft, edit, spot another loophole and repeat. It takes a long time to write a simple sentence when you are getting paid hourly.

What, if anything, haunts you?

Going to divorce court alone. My ears were ringing and I had trouble remembering how to get home.

How do you envision your future?

I like to write. I like to teach surreptitiously. I’m the protagonist in three novellas and am nearly finished with the next full length book, Judge vs Lake Michigan.

Thank you for visiting with us, Fiona. Best of luck!

***

Bio: Una Tiers (pen name) is an attorney practicing law in Chicago, Illinois. She is an avid reader. After a particularly grueling day in court, she wrote a story pouring all her anger into eliminating the judge, at least on paper. With a smile, additional victims were added as necessary. The result was Judge vs. Nuts, a look at murder, corruption and the Chicago judiciary. Una is calmer now.

Judge vs. Nuts is available in Kindle format. https://www.amazon.com/Judge-Nuts-Fiona-Gavelle-Mystery-ebook/dp/B00UUS7GJK

Learn more about our masterpieces, see writing tips and other books at our website http://www.unatiers.com/

Una takes messages for Fiona.

We are on twitter (@unatiers and Goodreads (Una Tiers)!

Fiona Gavelle, a Character in “Judge vs Nuts” by Una Tiers

Who are you?

Hello I’m Fiona Gavelle, I narrate the death of a Cook County judge and his probate case in Judge vs Nuts.

Where do you live?

I live in one of the most beautiful cities, Chicago, Illinois. We have a stunning lakefront to Lake Michigan, magnificent architecture, a wide range of cultural venues, and unfortunately politics and corruption. If you read the book, you will get a guided part of my favorite parts of the city.

Aren’t there a lot of books about corruption in Chicago?

There are plenty of non-fiction books about corruption in Chicago, but Judge vs Nuts is a cozy, a humorcide, that looks at another form of corruption. The non-fiction books will give you a headache; our book will make you laugh.

What is your problem in the story?

The police think that my dead client, Judge Laslo King was murdered. Really, there are a lot of ways it could have been a terrible accident.

Dead client?

Technically, I represent the executor of his estate, so not the dead person. That isn’t allowed even in Cook County.

Do you run from conflict?

Early and often, I must have watched too much television as a child and thought life could be relatively simple. That way of thinking leaves my head in the clouds much of the time. When I left my first job, I did it in the middle of the night. When I moved out of the apartment I shared with my husband, it was while he was at work. Now when it comes to clients, I want to believe I relentlessly protect their rights.

Do you think the author portrayed you accurately?

Una made me vulnerable and naive, but she also put Aunt Tess and Judge Adam Curie in to protect me when I’m not looking. Their advice is so subtle; they think I’m not listening.

Do you have any special strengths?

I can write loopholes and spot them immediately. Then I redraft, edit, spot another loophole and repeat. It takes a long time to write a simple sentence when you are getting paid hourly.

What, if anything, haunts you?

Going to divorce court alone. My ears were ringing and I had trouble telling how to get home.

How do you envision your future?

In the next book, Judge vs Lake Michigan I will tell you a little more about my background. My future at the law firm of Cartofle and Cebula is pretty tenuous right now and I may be practicing law out of the law library with my friend Steve Vorce.

***

Bio: Una Tiers (pen name) is an attorney practicing law in Chicago, Illinois. She is an avid reader. After a particularly bad day in court, she wrote a story making the curse of her day the victim. With a smile, additional victims were added as necessary. The result was Judge vs Nuts, a look at murder, corruption and the Chicago judiciary.

Judge vs Nuts is available in ebook, launching 2-29-12. http://www.amazon.com/DP/B007BSD4RU

For a sample of Judge vs Nuts visit unatiers.com

For the book book trailer, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55XqIbk0VY4